People are naturally drawn to charismatic people. Charismatic people tend to be better and more attractive leaders, find themselves at easy in social situations and generally have more friends and better relationships with the people in their lives. To others, the charismatic person can seem to have it all!
Is charisma something that we are either born with or without? Can charisma be learnt or developed?
Charisma is definitely not something that one is born with! Let me repeat! NOBODY IS BORN CHARISMATIC! That is the cold hard truth. If you have a friend that seems to have been charismatic since the day he could talk, that is because he simply mimicked the patterns and behaviour of the people that he has observed in his life. Just like most things, the ability to interact and charm others in a meaningful way is a skill that can absolutely be learnt by anyone. Many people have low confidence and are “stuck” in habits and routines that may make the journey towards “being charismatic” a little more difficult or timely. But even these people have it in them to become a more charismatic and likeable person.
So how exactly does one become more charismatic?
Although there are many ways to become more charismatic, there are 3 things that myself and many others have found to be the most helpful in developing our charisma. I will list these 3 ways to become more charismatic below.
1) Drama class – I know this may sound daunting or even childish. But seriously, regularly attending a drama class will have a MASSIVE effect on the development of both your charisma and your confidence. This is because by doing improv and acting out various characters in front of others, you are going to feel both nervous and silly. You are going to stumble your words, and you are going to embarrass yourself from time to time. But over time, you will begin to feel at ease when doing improv or acting out these various characters and your confidence will therefore grow.
Once you are now comfortable with acting silly and thinking and acting on the spot in front of strangers, is talking in a more natural situation with strangers and others really going to be that hard? This is why acting is so good for your charisma and your self confidence!
2) Toast masters – Toast masters is a word wide club where members meet and speak in front of each other about various topics. Why? Because this develops their self confidence and public speaking ability. Toast masters is a very sociable, respectful and hugely beneficial club and the benefits extend beyond simply talking in front of a number of people. Toast masters teaches you to remain calm and think on the spot. These are two skills that all charismatic people possess. And what’s better is that there is a Toast Masters club in HUNDREDS of cities around the world and even in some towns. So there is most likely a toast masters club near you!
“Charisma is the transference of enthusiasm” – Ralph Archbold
3) Conversation Analysis – What I mean by conversation analysis is to analyse key conversations that you have each day. For example, you may have spoken to a co-worker or fellow student and it may have either gone smoothly or been very awkward and uncomfortable. Now take some time at the end of the day to think back to this particular conversation. Think to yourself, “Was this or was it not a pleasing conversation?” If it was uncomfortable or awkward. Consider and dissect why this conversation was unpleasant. What you could have said or asked to have made this conversation more comfortable. Consider if the person that you talked to is likely to want to talk to you regularly and why.
The key question is “Why”! By actively thinking about and breaking down your previous interactions, you will begin to notice patterns. These patterns are particular sets of words or body language that you communicated that led to a particular or set of responses from the person who you spoke with. First identify the positive and negative patterns. You will begin to learn how to have conversations and interactions with people that are positive. And these conversations will lead you to becoming more liked with you creating a more positive and powerful impact on those that you talk to.
Now please consider and use these 3 ways to become more charismatic! Seriously, by doing all or even one of these three things, you will become so much more charismatic. And please remember that charisma is absolutely something that can be learnt and developed. It is simply NOT TRUE that people are born charismatic.
Charisma is 100% a skill that is learnt and developed!