In the following article I will teach you the biological basis of approach anxiety, and how to conquer it. In doing so, I will maximize your chances of getting to know that girl you admire.
First, what is approach anxiety?
Approach anxiety is the anxious feelings you encounter when you’re about to approach a girl you fancy. We’ve all had it before, and its nothing to be ashamed of, its simply human nature to feel a little anxious and doubt yourself when approaching a member of the opposite sex.
Increased heartbeat, blushing, sweating, these are all symptoms of approach anxiety.
Its important to note that anxiety serves a positive aswell as a negative function.
The positives of anxiety: increased reaction time, increased problem solving speed, increased athletic ability.
The negatives of anxiety: increased stress and worry, overthinking, pessimistic outlook on life, and a compromised immune system, which leads to many other ongoing problems. Plus many many more.
Although completely eradicating approach anxiety is somewhat impossible, diminishing it to a reasonable level where you can operate and speak to the best of your ability is beneficial.
Understanding the reasoning behind your anxious feelings is crucial in overcoming approach anxiety.
Anxiety is the body’s natural response to fear.
Anxiety is triggered by the Amygdala, a section of the brain that is responsible for detecting fear and preparing for emergency events. The Amygdala assures us whether our surroundings are safe, or unsafe. Our Amygdala lets us know whether we’re safe or unsafe by drawing on previously learned associations. These previously learned associations arouse our emotions, which in turn release stress hormones. Although the Amygdala serves a great purpose in protecting us from harm, it also gets triggered by non-harmful things, such as fear of failure, fear of judgement, and fear of rejection.
Tip 1: Put it all in context.
Weigh the situation against some of your biggest losses and analyse whether the anxiety and fear you’re experiencing is really representative of the situation you’re in.
Most of the time, if not all of the time, when you’re in a situation where approach anxiety occurs, the fear associated with rejection is completely out of context.
Tip 2: Put yourself in an outsiders shoes.
By putting yourself in someone else’s shoes you can analyse the situation objectively, from a more accurate angle, taking away subjective feelings.
Looking at the situation from an unbiased point of view enables you to clearly see the situation, and aids in minimising approach anxiety.
Now that you’re accurately seeing the situation for what it really is, rather than seeing it through a foggy lense, youre in a position to eliminate negative emotions and make way for positive thoughts.
Tip 3: Reframe your train of thought.
Being conscious of your emotions and thought processes is necessary to minimize approach anxiety.
Learning to reframe your train of thought from anxious and negative to relaxed and positive is perhaps the most necessary step you can take to minimize approach anxiety.
Tip 4: Think of conquering approach anxiety as an opportunity for growth.
Don’t think of anxiety as a bad thing, think of anxiety as an opportunity, an opportunity for growth.
Let’s take the following staff meeting example. The person in the staff meeting who knows the answer to a question being asked, but doesn’t raise his/her hand and instead waits for someone else to answer the question, is letting their fear of being wrong stunt their growth.
To overcome approach anxiety it is crucial to constantly be conscious of the fact that your anxiety is the main roadblock, if not the only roadblock, stopping you from forming a relationship with the girl you admire, and from ultimately becoming the best version of yourself.
Tip 5 : Justification will be your demise
Justifying why you shouldn’t approach the woman of your dreams will ultimately be your downfall. There will always be excuses as to why the current opportunity isn’t the right moment to approach her. Being conscious of the fact that there will never be a perfect moment is a great asset.
All in all I trust the above content on the biological basis of anxiety, and the 5 tips, will help you minimize the anxiety you encounter when approaching girls you admire, and will ultimately help you form a relationship with the girl of your choice.