Why Women Flake on Dates


flake abSo you’re getting ready for a good night. You made plans to meet a stunner that you met two days ago. You have downed a few beers to ease the nerves and thrown on some of that nice new after shave shortly after getting out of the shower. The phone then vibrates on the window sill; you pick it up only to read, “Sorry but I can’t make it tonight. I have to be somewhere.” You now feel pissed off. You feel the disappointment run through your veins and you feel embarrassed because you have been telling your flatmates about the hot date you had set up, for the past two days. You question what is wrong with you. You question what you have done wrong and you question whether or not you are ever going to see this girl again. Your date has flaked on you!
So why do women flake?

Flaking happens for two main reasons. Women may flake on you for circumstantial reasons or women may flake on you simply because she has not invested enough in you.

What I mean by “circumstantial” reasons, is that women do in fact genuinely flake on dates simply because they have commitments that they must take care of which means that going out with you is just not possible. However, if a woman does flake on you for what seems to be a good circumstantial reason and she is genuinely interested in you, she will often make a counter offer to your date. For example she may text you, “Sorry but I cannot come out with you tonight, but I would LOVE to go out next Thursday night?” If it is the case that she does not make a counter offer, she may in fact be trying to show you her disinterest in you as nicely as possible but there is still no reason as to why you should not propose another date within the next couple of days.

What is meant by “having not invested in you” is that you have failed to stimulate enough interest from the woman in order for her to become truly interested in you. When you approached or met her, was she asking you many questions? Was she smiling when she was talking to you? Did she cut the interaction with you short? These are all things which you can consider when you decide whether or not she had developed a strong attraction towards you. It is essential that you stimulate interest when approaching women. This interest can be established through showing confidence, demonstrating value, assertive behaviour and good communication skills.
So remember that there are TWO main reasons that a woman will flake on you. Your date may have not have had interest in you established, or she may genuinely not be able to go out with you for whatever reason. Remember that you can persist when a date is flaked on and suggest another date at a new time or place or you can just move on from this date if you feel that the potential for chemistry just isn’t there. Remember to be respectful when responding to a flake as this will increase your chances of another potential date happening at another place and time. When you are flaked on, simply respond with “No problem at all. I would love to take you out some other time.”