Possibly the biggest mistake that the “pick up” community has made about the whole “art” of getting women, is the mistake of being outcome orientated. What I mean is that the vast majority of “pick up artists” who engage in “sarges” and “sets” see the whole “game” of getting women as having either a “success” or “fail” outcome to each “approach”. The problem with having a mindset of being outcome oriented is that you are essentially coming from a place of fear when you are out and trying to meet women. The mentality of the “pick up” community is that you should approach women with the hope of getting her number or arranging a get together and if you fail to do this then you have been “rejected” and therefore have failed in your “pick up”. You are then taught to handle “rejection” in order to move on and be successful in your next “approach”. This is why you may need to change your mindset about “pick up”.
You see, many guys join the “pick up” community in order to try and escape the problem and fear of being rejected by a woman but this community maintains this “success” or “failure” mindset that guys are trying so hard to avoid!
The primary flaw in the game of “pick up” is that this community teaches you to make women your priority, and the aim is to TAKE as many numbers as you can. When you make meeting women and getting phone numbers your main priority, you become needy! You cannot expect to become a man that is both self confident and attractive to women when you are a needy person! This is the problem with what the “pick up” community teaches!
I was recently talking to a student about different scenarios in which it is advantageous to meet and attract women and I said “Cocktail barmen do not have to deal with rejection”. The student responded with “Yeah, but a cocktail barman has a CONTEXT!” So I said, “Yeah that is my point! You need to create your own context in which you can meet and attract women without the need of having to deal with rejection!”
You see, a cocktail barman can not really get rejected, because if he talks to a woman and she just walks away, he is just going to continue to do what he was already doing! And that is making drinks! He already had a context in the current situation and he already had a priority that is more important than attracting and seducing women! He was not coming from a needy place and therefore he does not feel rejected! So it is your job to decide what your main priority is and make sure that you prioritise this priority over ANYTHING else within your current environment. So if you find a girl that you are interested in, you can comment or just talk to her whilst performing your main priority, and you do not need to worry about running out of things to say and you don’t need to worry if she is not interested in you! This is because you can just fall back to what you were already doing!
So when you are out and about, just decide what it is that is your main priority. If you are reading in the park, then this is your MAIN priority. If you are playing golf, that is your MAIN priority.
So just establish what your main priority is, and recognise that this is more important than anything else that you could be doing during this moment! You should still attempt to meet and talk to women, but just remember that you should have something to fall back on.
So just remember, if you go out with the sole purpose of meeting women and getting numbers, you are being a needy person and it is very difficult to demonstrate that you are an attractive man who DESERVES the time and attention from women!
So rejection does not HAVE to be a factor for you if you change your mindset about “pick up”!