Awkward silences are something that almost everybody dreads. But it really is funny that once you overcome something, you think “Why the hell is that a problem for anybody else?” But of course it is very understandable that people simply HATE awkward silences. Awkward silences simply arise when both parties in a conversation run out of things to say and it therefore becomes uncomfortable.
So what is an example of this problem? An example is when a guy spots an attractive girl, he approaches her and it starts brilliantly! He finds out her name, where she is from and what she does with herself. But then he hits a pit stop! He has run out of things to say! What exactly should he do? Ask another question? Make an excuse to leave?
So now for the important part! How exactly does one get comfortable with what we normally would call an awkward silence? The hard reality is that there really is no magic line or easy way out of it. What you need to do, is you need to TRAIN YOURSELF to become comfortable with these “awkward” silences. You NEED to be fearless and put yourself through these situations enough times, to the point where these silences become the NORM for you! You need to really just suck it up. So when one of these situations arises, all that you need to do is stretch your arms out, sit back and demonstrate that YOU are completely at ease within this situation. If you want, you can even put the pressure onto her! Look at her with an expression that communicates, “So what have you got? Are we just going to sit here and stare at each other?” When she sees that you are comfortable, she is going to see that you are a person who is self confident, and who most likely is a very valuable person. Why? Because the vast majority of people simply cannot handle these situations.You need to fake it until you make it if you have to!
Are there any other coping methods that may help you get comfortable with awkward silences?
Another very effective method to deal with these situations is to be DIRECT! What this means is that when you find yourself within an “awkward” silence with a girl, simply just say “I feel really uncomfortable right now with this silence! You need to entertain me!” When you say this, 9 times out of 10, SHE will attempt to fill in this silence with something that you can BOTH elaborate on. Pretty easy right?
During these uncomfortable silences, just keep in mind that it is completely normal and natural to have these moments, but the more that you make yourself just embrace these moments and deal with them naturally, the more value and self confidence that you communicate! Just keep your cool and show that you are comfortable. 90% of communication is communicated through body language. So a comfortable, upright position can make a big difference!
This is how to get comfortable with awkward silences!
Good luck and enjoy the process!