How to Overcome Shyness on a First Date


Young Couple lovely enjoying a cup of CoffeeThe first date can often be very daunting! It can feel even worse if you are a man of little confidence and self belief. However, the truth is that far too many men have unnecessary psychological battles with themselves that really do have a negative impact on that first date. This “first date phobia” too frequently causes men to ponder how physically unattractive they are, how unfunny they are, how boring they are, and this causes these men to lose this psycholgical battle before the date has even begun!

A big reason as to why the “first date phobia” exists is because men try too hard to over prepare for this date. They think just too hard about where they should take a girl, what they should wear, how much money they should spend and what to do if they run out of things to say.

Believe it or not, the first date can be A LOT less stessful and “risky” than you might think. Here are five really simple but effective tips to use if you want to know how to overcome shyness on a first date!

Tip 1) Plan out a date location before  hand! You do not need to take her to a fancy restaurant or any where that is overly expensive. Just find a nice comfortable location where you can sit, relax and have some kind of activity that you can share between the two of you. A date location is what can make or break a date. If you choose this location well in advance, you will find that you are more comfortable once you are on the date.

Tip 2) Make her laugh! You do not need to spend hours reading jokes online or watching stand up comedy. When you first meet on this date, say “Did you miss me?” She will really appreciate this because you are using a bit of light humour and showing a little bit of cockiness that women tend to find really attractive. Remember to not over do this and just use these small jokes to ease both of your nerves. It is the small stuff like this that really makes a date truly spectacular!

Tip 3) Avoid asking her too many questions about her personal life! I know that often these little personal questions such as “Where do you work?” or “How old are you?” are easy questions to break the silence but the truth is that women want to be entertained when on a date. Women do not want to feel like they are at a job interview!

Tip 4) Listen to her! I know that this may seem like a bizarre piece of advice to give. However, a lot of guys just talk their heads off when on a date and women really do not like this! Try and get her to do a lot of the talking. Women LOVE to talk. And us guys REALLY need to learn how to listen more than we currently do.

Tip 5) Relax! A date is supposed to be a fun and social event between two people who are attracted to each other. Regardless of whether or not you see this girl again, just live in the moment. Have as much fun as you can and avoid being outcome oriented. If she decides that she does not want to see you again, respect that and just realise that it is most likely nothing that is personally against you. People are different and she is different to you! It won’t always work out! Just accept it.

So that is how to overcome shyness on a first date!

Remember that it is unlikely that you will completely get rid of any nerves that you have and just remember that everybody gets nervous. It is a completely normal human response to dealing with an uncertain occasion.


Have fun!